With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, many people enjoy this day to celebrate love, connection and relationships. Sending or receiving gifts of flowers and chocolates, or being wined and dined! But there’s one relationship that often gets forgotten about… the one you have with yourself.
What is Self-Love anyway?!
Let’s start with what it’s not… Self-love isn’t about candle lit bubble baths, spa days or holidays, that’s self-care.
Self-love is about having respect and love for yourself and prioritising your wellbeing. It means treating yourself with the same compassion you’d offer to a friend. This requires understanding that your worth isn’t down to how hard you work, what you look like, or even keeping everyone else happy.
This is what self-love looks like:
• Setting boundaries without feeling bad about it.
• Speaking to yourself with a voice of kindness, not criticism.
• Allowing yourself to rest without feeling guilty.
• Sometimes saying ‘no’ to things that drain you.
• Saying ‘yes’ to things that bring you joy, and understanding that you too deserve happiness.
• Loving yourself (the wrinkles and wobbly bits too!)
You neglect yourself and your own needs by saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’, pushing through exhaustion, kidding yourself that by saying ‘if I just do this one last deed, I’ll be enough’. The stress rises, anxiety creeps in and confidence goes out the window.
Practice self-love and everything changes for the better…
• Stop over committing and start prioritising yourself - you’ll experience less stress and a greater balance, you’ll feel lighter.
• Stronger boundaries - stop people-pleasing and start making choices that align with your own needs.
• Improved confidence - stop chasing perfection, and embrace yourself as perfectly imperfect!
• Improved mental wellbeing - you understand that taking care of yourself is actually the selfless thing to do because you’ll have more capacity.
How to do it!
Here are some simple suggestions to start building self-love:
• Pay close attention to how you speak to yourself. Would you talk to a friend that way?
• Set boundaries without justifying prioritising yourself. (No you don’t need to explain this to others or apologise!)
• Factor in some down-time for relaxation, and time for yourself.
Practise the above and you’ll be well on your way to practising self-love and improving your relationship with you! You’ll be loved no less for it!
Need some support or accountability to make it happen? Email me at kirstie@kirstiesalter.co.uk and we can arrange a chat about how I can help.
Comments